3 Easy Ways to Share Tough Feedback with Your Team
Your palms are sweaty, your knees are weak, and your heart is racing...
No, you're not in love.
You need to share some tough feedback with an employee.
Yikes!!! *cue ALL the fears, doubts, and worries*
As leaders, we not only get to tell our people how great they are and thank them for all they do, we also get to help them grow in their roles and as people.
Notice how I said, "we get to?" That was on purpose!
One of the best parts of being a leader is helping our team members grow!
In order to do that, we have to be willing to share the hard things sometimes.
Even if it makes us uncomfortable.
Especially if it makes us uncomfortable.
If sharing tough feedback makes your stomach sink, then no worries – I've got your back!
3 simple tips for sharing hard feedback with more confidence + ease:
1) Remember: Employees are humans, too.
This may seem like common sense, but so many leaders miss the mark on this one that I have to include it.
Our employees aren't machines or robots who come to work to do our bidding.
They have real emotions, real feelings, and real lives outside of work. It's key to remember this.
Think about how YOU would want to be treated in a similar circumstance (or how you've been treated in the past) and proceed accordingly.
And remember, they're going to be even more nervous and uncomfortable than you are during this conversation, so...
Approach the conversation with compassion and heart.
2) Assume positive intent.
It's easy to immediately think the worst. It's like our brains are hard-wired to think of the bad before the good.
I'm going to ask you to challenge your initial thought when something goes sideways and you think an employee is to blame.
Most people don't come to work wanting to do a bad job, make a mistake, or miss the mark.
Most people want the opposite.
To do a good job, that's error-free, and hits all the marks!
But sometimes things happen, like:
Maybe they didn't have all the information or resources they needed to complete the project or task.
Perhaps there's an inefficient process in place or a communication breakdown on the team.
Or they may even be dealing with something outside of work that's impacting how they're showing up.
These could all be very valid reasons as to why something happened.
It's important to head into any conversation with your team assuming that they were trying their best and something just happened.
We can't fix problems until we know the problem exists. It doesn't mean your employees are out to get you or ruin your business.
This leads me to our third and final tip...
3) Be curious + avoid blaming and shaming
Rather than immediately assuming the worst and jumping straight to blaming or shaming an employee for something gone awry, start with curiosity instead.
When we charge into a situation with questions like, "Why did you miss this deadline?" or statements like, "Your performance is completely unacceptable," we immediately put the other person on the defensive.
Right away, they're gearing up to defend their honor and their good name – not help us understand what happened and how we can fix it together.
This can lead to employees who don't want to communicate, identify opportunities for improvement, or engage in problem-solving for the betterment of the team and business.
All in fear of retaliation, admonishment, blaming + shaming.
We want the opposite of that. So do our team members. And they deserve better than that, too.
Instead, start by asking:
"Can you help me understand what happened with [insert project, task, assignment, behavior, performance, etc. here]?"
By starting the conversation from a place of curiosity, we engage our team members in a meaningful dialogue where we're asking for their input – not making ill-informed assumptions and accusations.
This approach will allow you to facilitate a genuine conversation, quickly identify problem areas or needs, and creatively solve issues together.
Doesn't that sound much better than the alternative?
Sharing tough feedback with our team doesn't have to feel mean, hard, or scary.
Feedback is important.
Feedback helps us grow.
Feedback is a key part of our role as a leader.
And you can give feedback to your team in a compassionate, heart-felt, and supportive way. Promise.
Authored by Ashley Cox, PHR, SHRM-CP
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